Vote over at Top Web Comics and you can see the cover image I cooked up for issue 2 (chapter 3) that I’ll be selling at C2E2 provided I sit down and actually format the files correctly at some point this week. I’ve actually had this incentive up since last week, but I know a lot of people don’t check back on the days I’m not posting comics. Also, I have nothing more impressive to offer today lol.

FUN. These pages are FUN. And we’re still at the fairly tame part of this whole situation, so I shouldn’t be so weirded out by having to draw all this, but I guess I’m more comfortable with the “this escalated quickly” part of this flashback than the “passive-aggressive couple arguing in the woods” part of this flashback. We haven’t had any werewolf stuff yet in this chapter of…13 pages…so that’ll happen! I try to toss in enough werewolf stuff often enough that this story is still ostensibly about werewolves, but like, I have to set up the werewolf stuff usually. So sometimes it’s easier to do that in an expository flashback than when everyone is just sitting around at the coffee shop. I am tired and my brain is trying to put these words together good but it not work.

A cool thing about winter is that it gives me insomnia! I don’t know why. I feel like I’d sleep better in winter because it’s cold and that makes you feel cozy in your bed, but then I’m staring at the ceiling at 3am wide awake, so coziness doesn’t factor in enough I guess. But the point is that I’m in a sleep deficit that I’m still trying to navigate a solution to, so I’m not as mentally on the ball as I’d like to be. There’s a company tearing apart a parking lot across from the side of my house in order to build some condos, so I suspect that 7am wake up call every morning isn’t really helping the cause.

Anyway, one thing that comes to mind in writing these pages is that writing an abusive relationship that’s obviously abusive is way hard? Because if you go overboard, it just comes off as weird and comical. If you go too subtle, people think “oh, this isn’t so bad! I don’t see what the issue is!” which is maybe worse. I think that’s one of the reasons that narcissistic abuse is so scary, actually. Because from the outside, it doesn’t look that bad. Narcissists are usually pretty nice initially, are usually great at reading people, but they can also be good at turning things around and making you out to be the problem 100% of the time, regardless of their behavior. So then you just feel bad for hurting this nice person who understands you so well! But abuse is a cycle: love love love love love, you’re causing problems for me that make me not love you, you’re wrong for feeling hurt about this really fucked up thing I did, no no no don’t leave me I’m so sorry I was wrong!!! (but will not change my behavior more than temporarily), love love love love love, you’re causing problems for me…etc. And I suppose here is where I add the disclaimer that narcissism is technically a personality disorder that theoretically CAN be overcome with intensive therapy, and I know people who are managing their narcissism issues, and that not all narcissists are abusers, but Narcissistic Personality Disorder is extremely hard to diagnose as most people with NPD are also unable to admit that they have any problems or are causing harm to others. That’s…basically the core definition of NPD. Narcissistic ABUSE is my main theme with this relationship, though, because it’s something that’s popped up multiple times in my own life and the relationships of a couple friends. And let me tell you, there are some really enduring scars from those abusive relationships. I didn’t want to go with a typical villain who’s evil for the sake of being evil, because there’s no motivation behind that really. But a villain who’s whole MO is “I love you, but my understanding of love is mostly based around what it can do for me, and I will destroy us both in the process if you attempt to leave”…that’s some shit I understand way too well. And it’s straight up evil.

Long story short, I am very sleepy read my comic see you tomorrow thank you bye.