Is there a word for “bad touch” but when it happens to your brain?
Wednesday starts Chapter 4! Hooray! And I’ve drawn the cover image, so I’ll probably post that like…Friday? Thursday? We’ll see! It’ll be a surprise for all of us!
Okay, so I’m finally done with this creepy scene! Yay! But I feel that I achieved the level of uncomfortableness that I was going for. There’s a lot going on in this page that obviously won’t make sense for awhile, so tuck it all away for future reference. I’m planting seeds here, so it’ll be awhile before you see the whole tree. Speaking of seeds, I drew a fuckton of plants for that second-to-last panel, so please appreciate. It looked a bit more over-the-top as just inks, and got toned down a bit with the coloring, but I still think it gets the point across. Connie has a fuckload of plants and none of them get any light what the hell. (Because reasons, don’t worry about it.)
I won’t say you’ll ever really like Connie, or that you should like Connie, but emotional abuse and manipulation is pretty subtle. From the inside of this kind of relationship, you really do think the other person loves you, but you’re just not trying hard enough to be who they want, so your abuser is frustrated. But, their frustration is coming from a place of wanting the other person to bend to their will in all/most things, and it isn’t happening. They may actually love the other person, they may think they are helping them or making them better by being hard on them. A lot of media either gets the love part right, but misses the actual abusive nature of the relationship, or gets the abusive part right, but doesn’t understand how love could be there too. That’s what makes it hard to get away from this sort of situation. There is mutual love, it’s just destructive.
Anyway, just know if you ever find yourself in this sort of situation, it’s okay. It’s not your fault, but you do need to get away from that person. They aren’t going to change, even if they seem okay for a little while. Even if you love them, even if they love you, just do anything you can to break it off and don’t talk to them anymore. (If you’re me, and they happen to be family (not my mom though), you still need to get the fuck away.) Even if you’re a really strong, really tough person, you can still end up in this situation. And if years of not living up to their expectations have beaten up your ego, just know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re totally fine the way you are, and probably a pretty cool person. (Unless you’re an asshole, in which case I take that back.) In all likelihood, your abuser is probably dragging you the fuck down, so you’ll be even better once you get away from them.
So, that’s my little PSA. We won’t actually be back around to Connie for…ugh, awhile, so I figured I should get up on my soapbox while the opportunity seems appropriate.