There’s a lot of information on this page! Is it all true? Maybe! Is it the whole story? Maybe! Probably not.

It’s probably late to point out here, because we’re almost 100 pages in (tomorrow WHAT???), but largely the blog entries that go along with these pages are mostly me documenting my thought processes behind what I’m writing. I try to stay away from spoilers, but it might be more insight into things than you want. I have no idea! I like reading other people’s thoughts when they’re creating stuff. If that makes it less enjoyable for you, I’d suggest not reading the blog entries, I guess. Or skimming them, maybe. I’ve never actually written a story this big before, and this complex, so a lot of this is a learning process for me. Plus, the week-to-week format is really fascinating as a storytelling method. It’s weird, but actually super useful in terms of addressing plot holes and filling out the story in ways that match feedback I get. I’m not gonna lie, basically any time someone comments with “I don’t understand XYZ thing”, I look to see if that thing needs more clarifying in the future, or if there are scenes I could add to make certain elements more robust. It’s fun! It’s very weird, though. Like editing and writing at the same time, but you can change nothing you’ve already made.

One of the themes I really enjoy in stories is perception vs reality. At this point, we know Malaya has no idea what she’s doing, but Connie’s info is mostly coming from Aubrey. Aubrey’s interactions with Mal so far would suggest that she’s stronger than Aubrey, can transform into a giant werewolf at the drop of a hat, and has very powerful friends. They probably see Malaya as this bad ass werewolf who has been all stealthily hiding for a few decades, but the reality is a lot more complicated than that. Or maybe way more simple than that.

Anyway, this page turned out way creepier than I originally intended. Yay! Connie and Aubrey’s relationship is supposed to be a foil to Malaya and her mom’s relationship, so there’s a lot of the same themes, buuuut not the same intentions. Obviously.

I think a lot of times, especially in sci-fi and supernatural stories, you get this very clear dichotomy between good and evil, but I don’t think that’s particularly interesting. Most people aren’t evil. Even particularly evil people will tell you they have noble intentions. They could be responsible for killing millions of people and still say that it was justified for the greater good. I think the kind of evil that really gets under people’s skin is the kind most people will encounter in their own lives. For example, I have people in my family who are really, really religious. They’re kind and giving and supportive of the people they love. But they’ll turn around and say really hateful, racist things. That’s evil, but that person would never perceive themselves that way. Or like Connie, who can justify emotionally controlling her werewolves, especially Aubrey. Why wouldn’t she? She needs a stronger pack because reasons. She’s potentially going to die if that doesn’t happen (do we really trust her?), and there’s no reason in her mind to sacrifice herself. Her ends justify her means, in her mind, and the reality of the situation isn’t terribly important to her because it doesn’t need to be.

I’m actually specifically basing her whole character around traits prominently displayed in people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. One, because I find it fascinating, and two, because I KEEP HAVING TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE LIKE HER. I think some people are just magnets for other personality types, and that’s apparently mine. People with NPD are very charismatic, very good at manipulating others, and generally will not ever admit to having NPD. It’s very hard to diagnose, and very hard to treat if you even can. It also comes with a handy side of constant gaslighting, because you’ll often find that they’ll actually change the reality of a situation if it doesn’t match up with what they wanted it to be, and then insist they’re right. It’s fun! And absolutely destroys the people in the midst of it. Awesome!